God Doesn't Give Us More Than We Can Handle- Really? (fyi Parenthood Spoiler Alert!)

Do you watch "Parenthood?" If you don't, you should, it's worth every minute of your time.

SPOILER ALERT- I TALK ABOUT RECENT EPISODES!

There is a character in the show that is fighting cancer and it's been a main storyline the last few weeks. I can't say enough about how well-acted this show is. You feel like you are in the middle of each character's complexity. Especially this one.

Something a character said, struck me.

In reference to his wife's cancer, Adam, her husband said this to his brother...

"I walked outside and our neighbor said, 'Remember, God won't give you more than you can handle.' Is that supposed to help me watch my wife suffer?"

And I thought, "My question exactly."

That phrase has never sat well with me. If you really play that out, it implies God is the one who is responsible for our suffering- that he orchestrates it. If he gives us the suffering, then he ceases to be loving. Those words mean that God gives us pain and hardships since he can, just because he thinks we can handle it. Some would be rebuttal with, "Well, God is using it to bring Himself glory." My response to that is this... Don't you think that there are other ways He can get glory, than by causing us to suffer? Certainly He is more creative than that. Doesn't that make God so manipulative, so cruel, and so unloving? Do we really and truly think that God WANTS people to have cancer, wants people to go through the pain of divorce, wants women to struggle with infertility, wants us to experience loss? When we say, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle," to me, that's exactly what you're saying- that God wants "this."

Truth is, we can't handle much, and that's precisely why Jesus lived and died.

I realize that when the phrase is said it's meant to be well meaning, and a source of comfort for others or for self, but Adam in Parenthood said it best when he said, "is that supposed to help me watch my wife suffer?" Regardless, of the source or reason of pain, it's still there, and you still have to walk through it. To give pat answers, only diminishes the current suffering or emotion of confusion and pain.

Can comfort be found in the midst of suffering? I believe so. But, I wouldn't want to take comfort in the one who is causing my pain, confusion, or hardship. I want to run to someone who will sit and listen, and won't try to explain away how I feel. I want someone who will help me bear it. 

I carry hope that God is truly that way, and not the author of my suffering.