So, my friend Jenny, in response to my last post, asked me why I hadn't ever talked about the "end of the world." -a valid question, seeing as how I'm passionate about figuring and dissecting other aspects of this whole Jesus thing. I told her I would write a post about my thoughts, so here you go, Jenny :)
Oh goodness, here comes a whole bunch of honesty for you all. The real and truthful reason I have never posted, or talked about the "end of the world" is because it absolutely terrifies me beyond what I have ever been able to put into words. Since I was about 12 or 13, and started to really comprehend what that could mean, I was frightened. I don't mean something that you are just startled by, I mean the thought and talk of it would send me into complete panic at the mention of it. I had/have a physical reaction. My heart starts racing, I feel shaky, and I feel like I am going to explode because of that fear. I can't concentrate. I hit the wall. I shutdown.
I've questioned my faith, or doubted if I really believed who Jesus is and what he is so capable of, if I can't get past this fear of the "end." I've felt crazy, as a Christian, for not being gung-ho about the idea of Jesus returning. Shouldn't I be anxiously anticipating the reconciliation that the "end" would bring? I've struggled with the line of wondering about "end times," and seeing people seriously obsessing over it. Where do I fit in there? I'm not even wondering about it, I'm in denial! What's a healthy perspective to have, and most importantly, what's true?
When this kind of fear and panic set in, I have to ask myself, "What do I know?" Basing much on feelings is silly anyway, but especially when you are in full shutdown mode, you must consider the truths that never change. Those are what you focus on. So here is what I know...
1) I know God is good.
2) I know that perfect love casts out all fear. God is love, therefore, HIS love is perfection. I need not fear being in His love.
3) I know that there is no where in Scripture that gives a formula, specific date, or any sort of hint as to when the world will end. In fact, it's the exact opposite. It's clear no one know that day and time, except God, Himself.
4) I know that my faith in Jesus is what matters. The deepest fibers in my bones believe in his teachings, and that the kind of life they bring, is the only life worth living. Somehow, it makes me trust that His second coming- if I'm around for it, will not be traumatic, since Jesus wasn't in the business of freaking people out for the sake of freaking people out.
The other part to this "end of the world stuff" is that I hate when people try to predict it, or seem so certain about a theory in figuring it out. Here is why I hate it and am mad at Harold Camping, the most recent May 21st predictor, and anyone who are proclaiming they have this day down...
1) It makes those who are following Jesus, and Jesus Himself, look like an idiot to the world. It plays into any negative stereotype out there about Christians, and makes anyone claiming that faith, look like a wacko. So, thanks Harold Camping for that one. Strike One.
2) Predicting it preys on the vulnerable. Whether your vulnerability is that you are looking for any bit of information to latch to onto about the end because you are craving it for one reason or another, or you are like me, and completely terrified, it plays with heads and emotions. It breeds fear. It scares people into faith, or makes people crazy. Love sustains, not fear. I have full faith that Jesus isn't a fan of scaring the sh@% out of us to show how fantastic he is. So, thanks Harold Camping for that one. Strike Two.
3) We should be living life without fear or obsession of the end. Those two things are just as binding as sins that hold us down. I'm not calling fear or obsession a sin, it's not for me to judge, I just think they are strongholds that can be equal to sin in the way they keep us from living fully, and for that I want to rid myself of that fear. So, thanks Harold Camping for that one. Strike three
AND if he needed another strike to my tearing down his legitimacy- or anyone predicting for that matter, he was wrong 17 years ago, when he predicted it before, and probably got people riled up then too. Ugh, he makes me angry and sad all at once. Strike four, Harold, strike four!
I am learning much about how Christ loves us and how he really isn't in the business of fear. I'm also learning that the end isn't something that should be feared. It's the time when the reconciliation our souls long for, will come, and we will feel at home. When I think of it like that, I'm not as afraid. It's a delicate dance, and I'm not going to run out and read a bunch of end times literature, but I am able to throw out the crap that people say a whole lot more now, when I focus on the character of God and the scriptures.
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