Let's talk about perception and projecting. The way that people sense and feel who you are and what you're about, and what we give off.
The way you are perceived by people means nothing if it's not who you really are. Perception can be deceiving. See, you don't have to worry about how you are perceived if you are being your true self. If you are living your life in a particular way, you will naturally ooze the characteristics of that lifestyle. It's just how it goes.
On the flip side, how others perceive us can mean everything, since we ooze who we really are. Sometimes we project how we feel or think, without knowing that's what we're doing. Conflict can arise when what someone is projecting, unknowingly, is hurtful to those around them. To be unaware of what your projecting, is just as much of a characteristic, as putting in a huge amount of effort into how you want people to perceive you.
I've known people on both ends of the spectrum. On the left, there is the person who works so hard to make sure they are seen in a certain way. On the right, there is someone who has no idea how they make others feel by what they unknowingly project. We all possess a little of both, just to be clear. I am certainly no exception to either of those side of the perception coin. The goal to me though, it seems, is to try and come to a healthy middle ground of self-examination, so you can let things said about you, that don't align with who you are, roll of your back, and also be aware of how you can make those around you feel.
Caring so deeply about how you are perceived, to me highlights an insecurity in your life around that certain issue. Conversely, not knowing how the things you say and do, affect those around you, is an indicator to me of an area of arrogance/pride/blindness in your life. Both need to be attended to, even though they stem from different places. I, too, have been in those places.
So what is this all getting at? Here's the punch line.
The more you know who you are, and are healthily self-evaluating, and
living out the conclusions of that evaluation, the less things people
say about you, matter.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again- it isn't about not
caring what people think of you... it's about caring what the RIGHT
people think. Perception will be just that, perception. The more true to
yourself you are, the less peripheral opinions hold weight, and the less you have to worry about how you are perceived.
It's simply
exhausting to care about what every single person you encounter thinks
of you, but it's also important to care what trusted people are trying to communicate to you. It's a balance.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we are working harder to paint ourselves in a certain light, and never actually embody the painting, then what's the point? That's empty. And on the flip side, if we have no clue what we are painting, we can potentially hurt people.
Conclusion: Be you, and own it. Tweak where you need to, as indicated by your own convictions and the wisdom of those who know you, then let everything else slide. You can't win em' all. But that's not really the point anyway. The point is to live authentically, and if you're doing that, well, you're as good as gold.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
E.L.F. Make-Up Giveaway and More!
One of my favorite things about blogging is meeting other woman and doing fun things together like sponsoring and...a group giveaway! I'm excited today, because all of the awesome ladies who have been featured on Mackenzie's blog, are participating in a group giveaway, and I wanted to share with you the item that I am giving away, and how YOU can enter.
If you've been around this blog for a little while, you may have picked up that I am a huge fan of e.l.f. make-up. I think the price point is amazing, and that the products are super fun. Plus, they're actually good quality for the price. So, naturally, my giveaway item HAS to include e.l.f. products that I love and want to share with you.
I'm giving away an eyeshadow, lip gloss, blush, mist and set spray, and a make-up brush.
Interested?
Entering is simple! You have until 12am on July 25th to participate. Just leave a comment on this post with your favorite beauty tip or product, then head over to Life of a Pint-Sized Mama and leave a comment under the giveaway post just to let her know you've entered. It's that easy!
 |
| www.pintsizedmama.com |
The winner will be picked randomly from Mackenzie's blog, and announced next Friday, July 27th. There are some awesome prizes like Target gift cards, and free ad space if you are a blogger, so jump on in! One lucky winner will get all of the giveaway items. I wish I could join in, myself!
I so appreciate all of your constant love and support, so this is my way of saying "thank you!"
Ready. Set. ENTER!
Love,
~Jessica
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
What Sort of Person Are You?
Hello! Let's talk a little "blog business" before I dive right in to today's post. I titled this blog, "It's All in Your Head," because I didn't want to limit myself in what I talk about, or do. I wanted there to be room for creativity, thoughts about my faith and life, space to process the joys and hardships of motherhood, and anything else that comes along. I have many different interests, and lots of thoughts. In an attempt to organize things around here a little better, I've created tabs/picture labels for the different parts of this blog... Photo Friday, Things That Kick Ass, and now one called "Perspective." The tabs/labels are listed on the top left-hand side of the blog for easy access. So, if you're stopping to by see a photo, watch a video, and/or want to know what I think about something, hopefully it will now be easier to find what you're looking for.
This post today, will fall under "Perspective," and I'll be working on going back to label other posts that fall into that category from the past year. Here's what the new "Perspective" tab looks like.
So without further ado, here's my "Perspective" today...
__________________________________________________________
Last summer I read The Chronicles of Narnia book series for the first time. Immediately, I asked myself why I waited so long. To me, anyone who can make the profound, simple, is brilliant. That's just what C.S.Lewis did with those books. Tears filled my eyes in many parts, and at the end of each book I was left with a sense of awe in what I had just read. I guess you could say that this book series was not just a group of good stories to me, it was an experience. I will never forget reading them for the first time. I plan to read them again.
There were many phrases and quotes in each of the seven books, that stuck out to me. Highlight marks filled a lot of the pages. There are certain quotes, though, that I don't even have to look back at my books to remember. Some thoughts and ideas were so profound that they have literally jumped off the pages of the book and are forever ingrained in my mind and heart.
So, here I am a year later, still thinking on, and unraveling one of my favorite quotes from the series, and I wanted to share it with you. This is from The Magician's Nephew. Background: A group of the characters are in the same place watching the same scene unfold, yet experiencing it very differently. This quote refers to how one of the characters is seeing what is going, but isn't really seeing.
Internally, this last year, I have felt a shift in the way that I see many things. There was a time when I didn't pay much attention to others in the world in my thoughts, when I believed voting republican was the only correct way to be involved in politics, when I didn't consider some one's story when I reacted to their behavior, when I judged those who were homeless, and when I assumed that America was God's gift to the world..the list could go on, really. I'm almost embarrassed to say those things.
...Then Osama Bin Laden was killed, and something about that rocked my core. It's possible that ideas and changes were brewing inside me already, but I distinctly remember a shift when I heard the news of his death. After the terrorist attacks of September 11th happened, many extremists celebrated the deaths of our citizens, and thought that they were vindicated. As an American experiencing the devastation of that day, the celebration of the death of our loved ones, was painful... it probably even bordered on feeling evil to us. Then just shy of 10 years later, Bin Laden is found and killed, and what do many some Americans do? They celebrate his death in the same way they hated others celebrating our deaths. Shouting in the streets, dancing stupidly, and posting ridiculous things about how awesome it was Bin Laden was dead. I was angry, and frustrated, and said to those close to me, "this is why people hate Americans." Truthfully, in those moments of watching people dance in the streets, dehumanizing Bin Laden, all while waving a flag, and praising God, I was disgusted. I was appalled. Did we not remember our pain at the death of our citizens? Did we forget that being mocked in the midst of extreme hurt, felt like an entire tub of salt had been poured in our wounds? Why, then, would we turn around and do the same to someone else? ...My mind stirred.
Insert The Chronicles of Narnia just a few months later, and all my questions and frustrations I felt about the reaction to Bin Laden's death, politics, the way those in some Christian communities treat homosexuals, and the complexities of war, were in my face again, upon reading that quote. Then, I realized the truth in that quote... No matter where you are standing when you see something happen, the sort of person you are is what determines how you truly look at a situation. In that moment, I said to myself, "Jessica, you need to be the sort of person that sees." I want to be the kind of person who considers a different perspective. I want to ask what I'm missing when I'm stuck looking at an issue from only one side? What if I moved a little to left or the right, would I see the same scene unfolding differently? The answer is yes. But, what if I did more than that, what if I changed my lens entirely, from the inside out. That would really determine how I saw something, because truly seeing things I've always seen in a different light, is a reflection of who I am and becoming. Man, that quote is so powerful.
Through conversations, and other books that have challenged my thinking, I am continually in the midst of this kind of transformation. My lens is being changed. I want to see humanity differently. I'm grateful to live in America, but I did not choose that for myself. Just like someone in the middle east did not choose to be born there. Even Osama Bin Laden. He was just as human as I am, and so are his followers. We're not better than each other, and that's new perspective for me... We all have stories, backgrounds, and experiences that mold us. That goes for people closer in proximity to me, as well. They also have stories, backgrounds, and experiences that mold them, and I am no better. Be it politics (which are so divisive and out of control right now), religion, or opinions regarding things we are passionate about, living in an "us" versus "them" world is ugly. I'm trying to change my view and see certain things a new way. From me that currently includes struggling with war ever being the answer, to politics mattering, and with American pride and allegiance. I'm trying to change my angle and see things a new way.
What are things that you want to try and see differently?
The real question is though, "What sort of person are you?" That is the root. Are you willing to see something in a new and unique way. You'll never be able to shift, if you aren't willing to go deep and see where you're at to begin with. That's about who you are. Are you stuck seeing things the way they look on the surface, or are you willing to be the sort of person who sees beyond? I want so desperately to be someone who sees, who is deeply aware of the connections we all share with each other rather than the differences. I want to consider others' situations before making a snap judgment, and I want to be constantly looking for truth.
Thank you, C.S. Lewis.
This post today, will fall under "Perspective," and I'll be working on going back to label other posts that fall into that category from the past year. Here's what the new "Perspective" tab looks like.
So without further ado, here's my "Perspective" today...
__________________________________________________________
Last summer I read The Chronicles of Narnia book series for the first time. Immediately, I asked myself why I waited so long. To me, anyone who can make the profound, simple, is brilliant. That's just what C.S.Lewis did with those books. Tears filled my eyes in many parts, and at the end of each book I was left with a sense of awe in what I had just read. I guess you could say that this book series was not just a group of good stories to me, it was an experience. I will never forget reading them for the first time. I plan to read them again.
There were many phrases and quotes in each of the seven books, that stuck out to me. Highlight marks filled a lot of the pages. There are certain quotes, though, that I don't even have to look back at my books to remember. Some thoughts and ideas were so profound that they have literally jumped off the pages of the book and are forever ingrained in my mind and heart.
So, here I am a year later, still thinking on, and unraveling one of my favorite quotes from the series, and I wanted to share it with you. This is from The Magician's Nephew. Background: A group of the characters are in the same place watching the same scene unfold, yet experiencing it very differently. This quote refers to how one of the characters is seeing what is going, but isn't really seeing.
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are
standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”
Internally, this last year, I have felt a shift in the way that I see many things. There was a time when I didn't pay much attention to others in the world in my thoughts, when I believed voting republican was the only correct way to be involved in politics, when I didn't consider some one's story when I reacted to their behavior, when I judged those who were homeless, and when I assumed that America was God's gift to the world..the list could go on, really. I'm almost embarrassed to say those things.
...Then Osama Bin Laden was killed, and something about that rocked my core. It's possible that ideas and changes were brewing inside me already, but I distinctly remember a shift when I heard the news of his death. After the terrorist attacks of September 11th happened, many extremists celebrated the deaths of our citizens, and thought that they were vindicated. As an American experiencing the devastation of that day, the celebration of the death of our loved ones, was painful... it probably even bordered on feeling evil to us. Then just shy of 10 years later, Bin Laden is found and killed, and what do many some Americans do? They celebrate his death in the same way they hated others celebrating our deaths. Shouting in the streets, dancing stupidly, and posting ridiculous things about how awesome it was Bin Laden was dead. I was angry, and frustrated, and said to those close to me, "this is why people hate Americans." Truthfully, in those moments of watching people dance in the streets, dehumanizing Bin Laden, all while waving a flag, and praising God, I was disgusted. I was appalled. Did we not remember our pain at the death of our citizens? Did we forget that being mocked in the midst of extreme hurt, felt like an entire tub of salt had been poured in our wounds? Why, then, would we turn around and do the same to someone else? ...My mind stirred.
Insert The Chronicles of Narnia just a few months later, and all my questions and frustrations I felt about the reaction to Bin Laden's death, politics, the way those in some Christian communities treat homosexuals, and the complexities of war, were in my face again, upon reading that quote. Then, I realized the truth in that quote... No matter where you are standing when you see something happen, the sort of person you are is what determines how you truly look at a situation. In that moment, I said to myself, "Jessica, you need to be the sort of person that sees." I want to be the kind of person who considers a different perspective. I want to ask what I'm missing when I'm stuck looking at an issue from only one side? What if I moved a little to left or the right, would I see the same scene unfolding differently? The answer is yes. But, what if I did more than that, what if I changed my lens entirely, from the inside out. That would really determine how I saw something, because truly seeing things I've always seen in a different light, is a reflection of who I am and becoming. Man, that quote is so powerful.
Through conversations, and other books that have challenged my thinking, I am continually in the midst of this kind of transformation. My lens is being changed. I want to see humanity differently. I'm grateful to live in America, but I did not choose that for myself. Just like someone in the middle east did not choose to be born there. Even Osama Bin Laden. He was just as human as I am, and so are his followers. We're not better than each other, and that's new perspective for me... We all have stories, backgrounds, and experiences that mold us. That goes for people closer in proximity to me, as well. They also have stories, backgrounds, and experiences that mold them, and I am no better. Be it politics (which are so divisive and out of control right now), religion, or opinions regarding things we are passionate about, living in an "us" versus "them" world is ugly. I'm trying to change my view and see certain things a new way. From me that currently includes struggling with war ever being the answer, to politics mattering, and with American pride and allegiance. I'm trying to change my angle and see things a new way.
What are things that you want to try and see differently?
The real question is though, "What sort of person are you?" That is the root. Are you willing to see something in a new and unique way. You'll never be able to shift, if you aren't willing to go deep and see where you're at to begin with. That's about who you are. Are you stuck seeing things the way they look on the surface, or are you willing to be the sort of person who sees beyond? I want so desperately to be someone who sees, who is deeply aware of the connections we all share with each other rather than the differences. I want to consider others' situations before making a snap judgment, and I want to be constantly looking for truth.
What do you see and hear from where you're standing? More importantly, though, what sort of person are you?
Thank you, C.S. Lewis.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Why Government Will Never Have/Be the Solution
For quite some time I've been sick of politics. The constant fighting, bickering, finger pointing, and the "us" vs. "them" structure there is between the parties, has me dizzy and annoyed. The "us" vs. "them" attitude also extends into fights between nations, religious group, and races, and I can't help but think that somewhere we are missing the mark. That politics, as we know them, aren't the solution. My mind has been swirling with a bunch of questions, and those questions have led me to a different, still evolving, perspective.
I've been super challenged with the idea of pacifism- actively seeking peace without violence, loving your neighbor and your enemies unconditionally, radical generosity, and service to others. The more I learn about Christ and see what his life modeled, the more I see that those are things that followers of His must confront.
My confrontation with those ideas, coupled with some great podcasts and books, have led me to consider the real reason why politics frustrate me... It's that the political systems in the world seek power through force, and threat of punishment. Laws are in place to give us boundaries and to hopefully modify potentially harmful behavior, by having clear consequences for those certain behaviors. Many people don't break the law or don't harm others for fear of consequence. Though I believe we need laws, and ways to keep us accountable for our actions, governmental systems don't get to the root of the problem. Governments don't deal with people's hearts. They can set parameters in place to keep people in line, but they can't change anyone's desire to do those things in the first place. Governments rule over people, with threat of penalty and punishment...and we can see where that has gotten us. Conflict, arguments, and war. Lots of war.
What is the solution to war, conflict, and personal and political discord? It's a shift in perspective. It's turning the systems we live under, upside down. It's viewing others as equals. It's considering that we have the same tendencies to be extremists as the Muslims and that we feel just as passionately about our agenda as they do. No cause is more righteous than other- not even America's cause, because we are all fallen, and in need of grace. It's saying that instead of retaliating, we will seek for peaceful ways to manage and solve conflict. It's considering and putting others' needs before our own. It's giving generously, instead of holding tightly to what we consider is "ours." It's loving your enemies to the point of self-sacrifice. It's passionately serving. It's humbling ourselves before each other. It's dealing with matters of the heart, and changing from the inside out. It's "power under," not "power over," as Greg Boyd puts in his book "Myth of a Christan Nation."
So you can imagine that yesterday, when the Supreme Court didn't overturn what's affectionately called "Obamacare," I was annoyed at all the accusatory words, and nasty finger pointing from both sides. The truth is, we can't expect that one system or program is perfect and/or will solve our problems. The question is, where do we put our hope? If our hope is in political systems we will always be let down, and there will always be fighting and bloodshed. Refocusing our purpose and attention is what solves problems. And that's about grace, love, understanding, and service... not lording power over others.
I never want to assume that all of my readers consider themselves Christians, but because it's a part of my life, I write about it. But, whether you subscribe to a certain faith or not, I think we can all agree that kindness, gentleness, and understanding is important, and changes people. However, if you do consider yourself someone who follows Christ, then I invite you to join me in wrestling with the complexities of what putting so much weight on politics and government can bring, and consider where to align ourselves. Worldly or heavenly.
This is new to me, so in no way am I fully "there." I'm just trying to be honest with my thoughts, in hopes that we can journey through this together.
Many of the thoughts in this post are in response to, and in paraphrase of Greg Boyd's "Myth of a Christian Nation." I wanted to give credit where it's due.
I've been super challenged with the idea of pacifism- actively seeking peace without violence, loving your neighbor and your enemies unconditionally, radical generosity, and service to others. The more I learn about Christ and see what his life modeled, the more I see that those are things that followers of His must confront.
My confrontation with those ideas, coupled with some great podcasts and books, have led me to consider the real reason why politics frustrate me... It's that the political systems in the world seek power through force, and threat of punishment. Laws are in place to give us boundaries and to hopefully modify potentially harmful behavior, by having clear consequences for those certain behaviors. Many people don't break the law or don't harm others for fear of consequence. Though I believe we need laws, and ways to keep us accountable for our actions, governmental systems don't get to the root of the problem. Governments don't deal with people's hearts. They can set parameters in place to keep people in line, but they can't change anyone's desire to do those things in the first place. Governments rule over people, with threat of penalty and punishment...and we can see where that has gotten us. Conflict, arguments, and war. Lots of war.
What is the solution to war, conflict, and personal and political discord? It's a shift in perspective. It's turning the systems we live under, upside down. It's viewing others as equals. It's considering that we have the same tendencies to be extremists as the Muslims and that we feel just as passionately about our agenda as they do. No cause is more righteous than other- not even America's cause, because we are all fallen, and in need of grace. It's saying that instead of retaliating, we will seek for peaceful ways to manage and solve conflict. It's considering and putting others' needs before our own. It's giving generously, instead of holding tightly to what we consider is "ours." It's loving your enemies to the point of self-sacrifice. It's passionately serving. It's humbling ourselves before each other. It's dealing with matters of the heart, and changing from the inside out. It's "power under," not "power over," as Greg Boyd puts in his book "Myth of a Christan Nation."
So you can imagine that yesterday, when the Supreme Court didn't overturn what's affectionately called "Obamacare," I was annoyed at all the accusatory words, and nasty finger pointing from both sides. The truth is, we can't expect that one system or program is perfect and/or will solve our problems. The question is, where do we put our hope? If our hope is in political systems we will always be let down, and there will always be fighting and bloodshed. Refocusing our purpose and attention is what solves problems. And that's about grace, love, understanding, and service... not lording power over others.
I never want to assume that all of my readers consider themselves Christians, but because it's a part of my life, I write about it. But, whether you subscribe to a certain faith or not, I think we can all agree that kindness, gentleness, and understanding is important, and changes people. However, if you do consider yourself someone who follows Christ, then I invite you to join me in wrestling with the complexities of what putting so much weight on politics and government can bring, and consider where to align ourselves. Worldly or heavenly.
This is new to me, so in no way am I fully "there." I'm just trying to be honest with my thoughts, in hopes that we can journey through this together.
Have a wonderful weekend!
~Jessica
~Jessica
Many of the thoughts in this post are in response to, and in paraphrase of Greg Boyd's "Myth of a Christian Nation." I wanted to give credit where it's due.
Friday, June 22, 2012
PRODUCTS That Kick Ass
Sorry for the long hiatus in video posts. I'm back!
This week's focus is about products that kick ass.
Watch the video below to see what I'm giving the "POW! Award" to.
I Take It Back!
DON'T use Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew Anti-Dark-Circle Roller if you have sensitive skin around your eyes. The product has great coverage, but it gave me a small rash under my eye. Check out the link and see if it's right for you.
DO use e.l.f. Tone Correcting Concealer. Great coverage, great consistency, and no rash! Plus it's a little less expensive.
And the Pow! Award Goes to...
And the Pow! Award Goes to...
NYC Smooth Skin Perfecting Primer is a fabulous primer to put on before your make-up. It gives your skin a nice glow, it's light, and it's only $4.00. All those things combined deem this product worthy of the "POW! Award." Try this product if you're interested in a new primer.Essie Bikini So Teeny. A color reminiscent of something that Tinkerbell/Cinderella would wear. You'll get compliments left and right. Plus, Essie is a fabulous brand. Thanks for introducing me to this color, Andrea! This color gets the "POW! Award."
What's kicking ass in your week? Do share!
Head over to Jenny's blog and see what's kicking ass in AZ!
See you next time, friends!
~Jessica
Monday, June 11, 2012
Just Live- My Truth About Fear and Worry
I am someone who is easily prone to fear and worry. The difference between the two words is minimal, but the outcome is the same; a mind that is out of control.
Only in the last year have I begun to see how much my fears have gripped me, and how much of my head space had been devoted to the things I fear. It's been an array of things from fear of disappointing people, fear of not having enough money to live, to genuinely fearing the end of the world. Plus a whole lot in between.
There's certainly a healthy amount of fear and worry that are appropriate in one's life, because at times those emotions can be good indicators of what we need to be freed from, but all too often we sit and dwell in the fear and worry camp, rather than get to the root of those anxieties. The root in my life at least, has always been a need for control.
Last year I was asked, "What would you think about if you weren't worrying or in fear all the time?" At that point, I couldn't even answer the question because I was so deep in my fears and worries. I truthfully had no idea what I would fill my mind with if it wasn't with the things I was afraid of and worried about. That question stirred in me for awhile. I tried to picture what it could possibly be like to have no fear or worry constantly consuming me. During that time, my answer still remained that I didn't know.
I think subconsciously I knew that I was not going to get out of this nasty habit and cycle on my own. I think I even knew that my habit of fearing and worrying wasn't going to be something I was weened from; it was something that I needed ripped from me, and taken away. I needed to quit this worry and fear drug, cold turkey.
That day came April 22, 2011. I remember it vividly. I could write for days about what I experienced that Friday morning. I won't though, for your sake. What I will say is that as I was laying in bed that morning, the words, "Just live," kept ringing in my ear. "Just live." A lot collided for me in that moment, and I was overwhelmed with two things. First, the realization that my fears and worries were robbing me of living in the present and seeing the beauty in my days, and had been for some time. And second, I realized that I had never experienced what true freedom from something felt like. Since that day, miraculously, and by grace that can only come from above, I have been free from the consumption of fear and worry. Do I still worry and fear things? Yes. I do have kids, a husband, bills to pays, and demands to my life, after all, but I don't feel plagued by it. I don't feel debilitated by it. The difference for me, internally, is night and day.
See, worry and fear had become my God. I worshiped it by giving it all the attention I had. It had become my norm, in a strange way. It was just a part of me. And that's the problem of fear and worry. It consumes us with the wrong things. It's inward facing, it's all about self, and it's a prison. It traps us into thinking that we are all that matters. That we are our own solution. When we are free from the bondage of worry and fear, because there is serious bondage in those things, a paradigm shift happens. The sun doesn't rotate around the earth anymore. The earth rotates around the sun, and that sets everything else in perfect order.
So, the question remained, "What would I think about, if I didn't worry and fear all the time?" My new answer is this.... beauty. Beauty in the meaning and experience of true freedom, beauty in my kids, beauty in my marriage, beauty in the life I live, and have been graciously given. Beauty in figuring out who I am, and being me. I have been able to take better care of myself, make some amazing new friends, stop and smell the roses a bit more, and start to learn a new perspective- Living life with open palms instead of closed fists. I'm not walking around in la-la land, implying that I have this art mastered, or saying that I still don't have worries and fears creep up...hello, this world is filled with things to scare us, but what I am saying is that my mind has been freed, and I'm more quickly able to get my feet back on the ground than before. I am able to "just live," a lot more easily.
Only in the last year have I begun to see how much my fears have gripped me, and how much of my head space had been devoted to the things I fear. It's been an array of things from fear of disappointing people, fear of not having enough money to live, to genuinely fearing the end of the world. Plus a whole lot in between.
There's certainly a healthy amount of fear and worry that are appropriate in one's life, because at times those emotions can be good indicators of what we need to be freed from, but all too often we sit and dwell in the fear and worry camp, rather than get to the root of those anxieties. The root in my life at least, has always been a need for control.
Last year I was asked, "What would you think about if you weren't worrying or in fear all the time?" At that point, I couldn't even answer the question because I was so deep in my fears and worries. I truthfully had no idea what I would fill my mind with if it wasn't with the things I was afraid of and worried about. That question stirred in me for awhile. I tried to picture what it could possibly be like to have no fear or worry constantly consuming me. During that time, my answer still remained that I didn't know.
I think subconsciously I knew that I was not going to get out of this nasty habit and cycle on my own. I think I even knew that my habit of fearing and worrying wasn't going to be something I was weened from; it was something that I needed ripped from me, and taken away. I needed to quit this worry and fear drug, cold turkey.
That day came April 22, 2011. I remember it vividly. I could write for days about what I experienced that Friday morning. I won't though, for your sake. What I will say is that as I was laying in bed that morning, the words, "Just live," kept ringing in my ear. "Just live." A lot collided for me in that moment, and I was overwhelmed with two things. First, the realization that my fears and worries were robbing me of living in the present and seeing the beauty in my days, and had been for some time. And second, I realized that I had never experienced what true freedom from something felt like. Since that day, miraculously, and by grace that can only come from above, I have been free from the consumption of fear and worry. Do I still worry and fear things? Yes. I do have kids, a husband, bills to pays, and demands to my life, after all, but I don't feel plagued by it. I don't feel debilitated by it. The difference for me, internally, is night and day.
See, worry and fear had become my God. I worshiped it by giving it all the attention I had. It had become my norm, in a strange way. It was just a part of me. And that's the problem of fear and worry. It consumes us with the wrong things. It's inward facing, it's all about self, and it's a prison. It traps us into thinking that we are all that matters. That we are our own solution. When we are free from the bondage of worry and fear, because there is serious bondage in those things, a paradigm shift happens. The sun doesn't rotate around the earth anymore. The earth rotates around the sun, and that sets everything else in perfect order.
So, the question remained, "What would I think about, if I didn't worry and fear all the time?" My new answer is this.... beauty. Beauty in the meaning and experience of true freedom, beauty in my kids, beauty in my marriage, beauty in the life I live, and have been graciously given. Beauty in figuring out who I am, and being me. I have been able to take better care of myself, make some amazing new friends, stop and smell the roses a bit more, and start to learn a new perspective- Living life with open palms instead of closed fists. I'm not walking around in la-la land, implying that I have this art mastered, or saying that I still don't have worries and fears creep up...hello, this world is filled with things to scare us, but what I am saying is that my mind has been freed, and I'm more quickly able to get my feet back on the ground than before. I am able to "just live," a lot more easily.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Photo Friday: An Engagement and a Baby!
There were two very exciting events in our world this week.
An engagement and a baby!
(No, I'm not pregnant.)
I mean, really, is there anything better?
My brother, Ron, proposed to his girlfriend, Michelle, last Saturday night!
The lovely couple was enjoying a weekend away in San Diego, and Ron popped the question on the beach, around sunset. This was the picture right after she said yes!
Words can't express how excited our family is to welcome Michelle into our lives. It's almost as if Michelle has always been around. Ron is the happiest we've ever seen him, and Michelle is a breath of fresh air. Together, they are even better.
I can't wait to celebrate their nuptials this summer, and to have new sister!
I love you both!
Meet Ellie Sophia!
Ellie is the newest baby on Bobby's side of the family. Isn't she beautiful?!
Bobby's sister, Sarah, and her husband Sergio, welcomed this precious bundle into the world, last Friday. Sarah and Sergio have three other children; two here, and one in heaven. They were so excited that Ellie made her debut!
Ellie was four weeks early, and has had some issues with keeping her bilirubin blood count down. She's spent the first week of her life in the hospital, but has made some serious progress the last few days and is doing so well! Sarah and Sergio are hoping to take her home in a few days. YES!
An engagement and a baby!
(No, I'm not pregnant.)
I mean, really, is there anything better?
My brother, Ron, proposed to his girlfriend, Michelle, last Saturday night!
The lovely couple was enjoying a weekend away in San Diego, and Ron popped the question on the beach, around sunset. This was the picture right after she said yes!
Words can't express how excited our family is to welcome Michelle into our lives. It's almost as if Michelle has always been around. Ron is the happiest we've ever seen him, and Michelle is a breath of fresh air. Together, they are even better.
I can't wait to celebrate their nuptials this summer, and to have new sister!
I love you both!
Meet Ellie Sophia!
Ellie is the newest baby on Bobby's side of the family. Isn't she beautiful?!
Bobby's sister, Sarah, and her husband Sergio, welcomed this precious bundle into the world, last Friday. Sarah and Sergio have three other children; two here, and one in heaven. They were so excited that Ellie made her debut!
Ellie was four weeks early, and has had some issues with keeping her bilirubin blood count down. She's spent the first week of her life in the hospital, but has made some serious progress the last few days and is doing so well! Sarah and Sergio are hoping to take her home in a few days. YES!
Babies make life so sweet. Their family lives in Kansas, so we can't wait to meet baby Ellie over Skype and send her lots of love that way. I could just eat her up!
We love you, Ellie!
Did you have a good week? I hope so!
Link Up below and share what your highlights of the week were.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!
~Jessica
We love you, Ellie!
Did you have a good week? I hope so!
Link Up below and share what your highlights of the week were.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!
~Jessica
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