As I am writing this my precious 3 1/2 year old daughter is sitting on my lap, begging to help me on the "puter." I thought I was going to be sitting down, without much distraction for a few minutes, and then I remembered, "oh yeah Jessica, you're a mom, and distraction is at every corner." See, this job of motherhood bears much responsibility, a constant state of awareness, and the forever reminder that your life is not your own.... and I signed up for this?! For TWO little lives?! As much as I love being a mom, and being able to watch my kids grow and experience life, I am finding it amazingly refreshing to actually be honest with myself and others, and just admit that I don't have it together, I'm still seeking to find my place, and motherhood is so much harder than I imagined. I just don't want to fake it. I crave adult conversation during the day, I know every theme song to every kids show, I follow the trail of crumbs everywhere, and I'm the "go to" person for everything...for everything. Tough, frustrating, tiring, and patience testing, are a few words that come to mind. But, most often, I just feel like I want "5 Minutes Peace!"
Do you remember that book? Mama elephant, who is seeking a little peace and quiet, is followed around to every room in her house by her three children who want to show her tricks, sing her songs, and want a glass of water. They end up getting in the bath with her and taking over the solitude she was hoping for, and at the end she is able to escape for a solid 3 minutes and 45 seconds of alone time before the trail of elephants followed her back downstairs.
Well folks, this is the story of my life. Though I love my children more than is humanly possible to even put into words, I want some of "me" back. I'm on the journey, I'm discovering my strengths, I'm asking questions and putting my thoughts out there. I'm giving myself permission to make time for me, and find the things that make me tick. So, here we are. It's a Tuesday in March, and I'm "ticking away," writing; something I love to do, in hopes of discovering parts of myself I didn't know existed, expressing thoughts, and trying to get my "5 minutes peace." It's not all in my head anymore. Welcome.
Well folks, this is the story of my life. Though I love my children more than is humanly possible to even put into words, I want some of "me" back. I'm on the journey, I'm discovering my strengths, I'm asking questions and putting my thoughts out there. I'm giving myself permission to make time for me, and find the things that make me tick. So, here we are. It's a Tuesday in March, and I'm "ticking away," writing; something I love to do, in hopes of discovering parts of myself I didn't know existed, expressing thoughts, and trying to get my "5 minutes peace." It's not all in my head anymore. Welcome.
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