If the foundation of your faith is strong enough, and you are secure enough in what you believe about who God is and how He feels about you, then there shouldn't be fear in asking the tough questions. This is what I have been learning recently, and really trying to establish. I want my faith to be able to hold my uncertainties and still be anchored at the end of the day. The only reason we fear questions is because it could potentially threaten the very ideals we've built our lives on. But, if you're going to be so threatened by important and meaningful questions, how solid was your faith in the first place? That idea is kicking my butt. Without the wonder, curiosity, and questions, how do we continuing this quest of knowing God? No questions, means no depth, and I am desperate for depth and roots. With that being said here are some questions that I'm asking right now, in pursuit of truth, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of this unbelievable being I am trying to serve. I want to share them with you because maybe, just maybe, I'm not the only one who is wrestling with them, and we can discover and dialogue together.
1) I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I think this world and humanity is broken, and there are just things that happen simply because of that brokenness. Upon hearing about the earthquake in Japan, and the tsunami that followed, I have to ask, "Is it possible that there is no reason or purpose that this is happening?" My heart can't reconcile God causing this awful destruction just to prove that He is sovereign. That's so ugly. That same questions goes for suffering and unexplainable pain everywhere. Are there just things that don't have a purpose? I say, yes, though it's still something I will always be questioning.
2) We have free will, we make our own choices, and we were created that way. Doesn't then, our free will, have the potential to influence the future? Why yes, of course it does! How do we then partner with God to tackle the future together, and conversely, what does the future hold when our future decisions haven't been made yet? I pose that future is not all planned out. Aaaaahhhh, crazy right?! ;)
3) Since we are free to do as we choose, and that was such a risk for God to take in creating us that way, what else does that say about God? To me it says, that He isn't safe- meaning since He is willing to risk us not choosing to love Him, which is the ultimate, what other risks is He willing to take? - and it also says to me that He is the most kind and loving being to let us choose, so when we do choose to love Him, in what other ways does he extend His love, truth, and grace in our lives?
God is intensely vying for a relationship with us, and He often does that very unconventionally- or unconventional to us. He's the way He is. We are the ones who have put these ridiculous parameters on how, and in which way we're supposed to have a relationship with God, and have defined what is important to Him from what we think matters. We've missed the mark by a million miles, and have been taught silly things. I am reconstructing and rebuilding my faith from some of the nonsense that is out there, and trying to be real and honest with the struggle to put it all together. God is using paradoxes to show me what He's all about, and I am so excited about it.
The entire story of humanity and creation is for us to see how we are loved and cared for, and if we don't stand in awe and curiosity of what's in front of us- literally and figuratively stand- how will we ever know more?
Keep questioning my friends, God can handle it.
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