Why the Phrase, "God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle," Doesn't Work

 As a heads up, this is a theological post, so I recognize that that may not interest everyone, but this is something I've been thinking about for a long time, and wanted to share. Join me if you'd like- maybe you'll find it just as interesting as I did!

The phrase "God won't give you more than you can handle" has baffled and frustrated me for years.  Not only did it not sit well with my insides when I began to hear it more, but as I researched, and tried to find out where this phrase came from, I discovered that it is absolutely not biblical, and found no where in scripture. It's not a verse.  I think it's become something that people say, or a gross misinterpretation that stems from this verse:

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

Temptation and bearing suffering, strike me as two very different things, yet I feel like people have taken it to mean that God won't give you what you can't bear, in a general sense. I take this verse to mean, that He will not lead you into temptation and sin, and is gracious and faithful to always provide you with opportunities to walk away from what you are tempted by. There in nothing in that verse that talks about the pain, confusion, and suffering we bear in our lives. Somehow the phrase, "God won't give you more than you can handle," has morphed into a way to explain hardships and put purpose to the awful things that we walk through sometimes. But, it's not biblical at all, so I'd like to submit to you why I believe that phrase misrepresents God, and what we should say instead.

Breaking It Down

1) "God won't give you more than you can handle," implies that God is the one letting evil, abuse, pain, anxiety, etc, into our lives. AND, not only allowing it in our lives, but that he is the one piling it on, just because "we can handle it." How twisted is that? That a God would give us disasters and pain simply to teach us things , or for sake of handling it (I'm still trying to figure out the story of Job, and probably will never understand that one- just throwing that out there.)? The image of God that phrase gives me, makes me want to run from that God. Now, I believe fully, He makes beauty out of ashes, and that when pain and suffering happens, he walks with us, and meets us there to turn our tragedies into something beautiful. But, I don't buy FOR A SECOND, that he is the one handing us our troubles. It's absolutely ludicrous.

2) There is much that happens to people every day that we were NEVER meant to handle! Rape, genocide, abuse, illness, you name it. This world is full of evil and cruelty that no one should ever have to endure or "handle." When we say that God is the one handing us those things, it assumes that he is then responsible for bringing evil things into our life. It also assumes that he gives good bad things to some people, but bad things to others- like he's playing favorite, in a way. I believe, rather, that he never meant for us to "handle" any of the pain that we face. His purpose for us is to live in freedom, and in the absolute wholeness of his love and grace. If he's giving us what we're supposed to "handle" there is too much complexity in how that would possibly match up with his character. There are horrible things that happen in this world, and to people every single day. If God is the mastermind behind that, it contradicts who he is.

Examples:

So, you're telling me that girl who sexually abused her whole childhood had that happen to her because she can handle it? 

Or that a mom who is super anxious, and on the verge of a breakdown and fighting depression, is given that because she can handle it?  

Or the parents who lose a child in car accident, had that happen to them and not someone else, simply because they could handle it? 

Um, I don't think so. NO ONE should have to deal with pain like that, and God is most certainly not the one bringing that into people's lives. He is grieving with us, wishing with us, that that never would have happened. Like I said, there are so many things in this world that we were never meant to handle, and it's because of the evil and cruelty we see and experience, that we run to Christ. Why would I possibly want to run to the one, who not only put those things in my life, but masterminded them, you know? The bad things we have to "handle" are not at all from God, in my opinion.

3) It minimizes each others pain. It serves as a conversation shut down-er, because who is going to argue that phrase, when they are hurting so deeply. It puts a wedge between relationships, because it attempts to explain pain, rather than sympathize and give compassion. I'm not saying that someone would do that intentionally, but I think than any christian jargon that's thrown out there in hopes of explaining why something is happening, causes more harm than help. Sometimes sitting with a friend, and listening to them talk about what they are going through, and offering your presence, instead of your opinion, is more Christ-like to me

4) That phrase isn't biblical, like I said. Life is hard because there is sin in this world, and people have free will to good, or evil. And you know what? I also believe that there are other free beings- angels and demons- that we are affected by, and I don't discount that much of the evil in this world is a result of the battle going on around us constantly, that we don't always see. We have a tendency to try and put purpose to evil. But, there is no original purpose to evil. It stands alone, as evil, through beings' choices. When we try to put meaning to why evil happens, and put God in the center of that explanation, it assumes that He is responsible for the evil and pain in our life. That phrase makes God look like the bad guy. God isn't the bad guy, there is no original purpose in evil, and we are in a constant battlefield, bearing more than is possibly manageable. 

The Alternative

I'd like to throw out an idea that the phrase, "God won't give you more than you can handle," 

 should really say this:

"We can't give God more than HE can handle."

My cores knows that even in the most horrible situations we were never meant to even endure, that God is amazingly good at making the awful into the beautiful. He can turn death into life, and can turn pain, into strength. No matter what we are facing, we can give that to him, knowing that he is walking with us, feeling what we do, and is able to take in our fears, anxieties, and worries, and carry them for us.

I have to rest in the truths that I know. God is good, he loves deeply, and unreservedly. He wants good things for me that bring peace and wholeness. He wants union with me. He is never the cause of chaos, and won't lead me into disaster. I believe that with my whole heart. And when disaster comes, He is there, walking right beside me to make beautiful things out what I should never have had to handle in the first place. He's really good at that.

Give him your burdens, because he CAN handle them, because we so clearly were never meant to.

Grace and Peace to you all, today!