I DO Care What People Think

Here's something I've been thinking about recently...

I don't buy when people say that they don't care what others think, because I don't buy that in myself. 

I feel pretty secure in who I am. I don't have everything about myself figured out because who really ever does? We're always changing, and our world doesn't stay the same. Self-discovery is a never ending process. But, I like me. I'm not perfect, I am on a pretty extensive journey right now to figure more of myself out, and there are always parts of myself that I want to improve and evolve, but at the end of the day, I'm really ok-more than ok, actually, with who I am.

I really believe that the more you enjoy, know, and discover the uniqueness in yourself, the less energy you'll put into being consumed with what someone else will be thinking about you. But, I also believe that even the most secure person, still cares what others think at times. 

The truth is I DO care what people think, I DO want approval, I DO want to be liked. Let's be honest though, who doesn't? I just want to be real with the fact that it feels good to have others approve, compliment, think well of you, etc. 

Maybe I'm wrong about this, but I'm only speaking of it out of my own experience. Whenever I hear someone say, "I don't care what anyone thinks about me," I immediately think of the insecurity oozing out of that statement. Like it's some defense or front, for really caring a lot about what people think. From a psychological point of view, the more you have to emphasize something, the less true it actually is inside of you. It's over compensation, it's a facade to mask what's really going on, or how you really feel. 

So, here's a few things about me that usually I would like to say I don't care about, but secretly, and no not so secretly now, I actually care about. 

ROOTS

I love being blonde, but hate those roots. I'd like to say that it doesn't bother when they show, but it does. I know people are looking at the fantastic contrast in my hair, haha. I'll get around to touch ups when I can, but until then, those roots will haunt me! Here's the proof...

PARENTING

I'd like to say that I don't give a rip about what people think of mine and Bobby's parenting. But, I care. I want people to say and think that we're good parents.

BLOGGING

Writing this blog is pretty vulnerable. It's liberating as well, but I take a deep breath when I'm writing an honest post, like this one for example. My heart is out there for the world to see, and that's both a lovely and frightening thing. Of course, I want people who read it to like, and identify with me!

AUDIENCE

I have an audience in my head that I cater to. I'd like to say that I only do things for myself, and that  I do everything because I want to, but I don't. Some days the audience blares loudly and I do things to please that audience, and other days it's quiet, and I can hear myself better. I'd like a more quiet audience in my head more often. I'm working on it.

The goal then seems to me, to grow internally stronger, so the times where you begin to wonder what others will think, or what they are going to say, will sting less, and will grasp you for a shorter amount of time, because you are secure enough to handle to stares, the comments, or the assumed thoughts of others.

I guess the other goal, then, is to care about the right things. There are just some thing that don't matter- like roots, but there are things in life that do matter- like where to live, what do about your kids' schooling, what's the next career move, what purpose do I have right now... Those are all important questions that we need people to weigh in on for us.  

When we put out the front that we don't care what people think, we also miss out on the wonderful wisdom that can be offered by caring a little about what the right people think. 

So, really it's about the right audience, with the right thing. 

To Summarize...

1) Continue to discover who you are, and be excited about your uniqueness. It's so freeing.

2) Admit that you care what people think, and be ok with that. I promise it doesn't make you weak.

3) Have the right people weigh in on your life. Seek the wisdom of others who you love, respect, and trust. As you learn and grow, the thoughts of those whose opinions you hold in less regard, will start to matter less.