We're back!
Thanks for your patience with us- well mostly me. Jenny was on top of it yesterday, and I had a busier than usual day, so she graciously agreed to wait for me to post. Thanks, Jenny!
If you want to catch up on our most recent posts click here and here.
If you are just joining us and want to know what this series is all about, you can watch our
intro videos here and here.
Here we go again!
As I am writing this, I am looking at the leftover pizza boxes I have on my counter from last night.
Bobby had a super long week, and I was out and about all day yesterday, so it just felt right to order pizza, catch up on our shows that we love, and hang out. To me that's always the perfect kind of evening. Yummy food, a good movie or show, and then some serious dessert. There is something about that combination that is more than just fun for me, it's almost ritualistic- my comfort, my way of unwinding from a long day or week. Honestly, that is the best kind of night for me.
Here's my issue though, I am an over-indulger. I think I just made that word up. I can eat huge portions of my favorite meals, and then I have no problem backing up my huge dinner portion with an unearthly amount of sweets- ice cream is my vice. I always say that my stomach has a separate compartment for dessert, because no matter how much I eat for dinner, I always have room for dessert.
The over-indulging is a hard habit to break, especially when it is attached to comfort, rest, and good feelings. That makes it nearly impossible for me to say no, because it brings me so much pleasure. I don't eat to just fuel myself, I eat because I enjoy food. Really really enjoy food.
Even though I know that over-indulging is a weakness of mine, I know there is another extreme.
It's self-deprivation: Never allowing yourself to enjoy a meal or yummy treat. Counting every single calorie for fear of adding a single ounce to your weight,
micro managing everything that you take in, then punishing yourself for it.
Though I have never struggled with this extreme, I've known those who have, and I know it has just as many roots to it, as over-eating does- it's just manifested differently.
Can I tell you one of my absolute biggest pet peeves? I really don't like when anyone posts on facebook about calories. "I ate this many calories, so I need to do this many hours of exercise," or "I'm going to regret all the calories I took in," or "____ only has ____ calories!"
It bothers me because the focus seems wrong or skewed.
Don't eat "it" if you know you'll feel guilty. Or eat "it" and give
yourself permission to enjoy what you're eating.
Please don't hear me saying that I think counting calories in itself is annoying. It can be a great to tool, to keep you aware of what you're taking in, which is important.
But, awareness and fretting/obsessing over calories is different.
What I am saying, is that kind of verbalization, to me, puts the focus in the wrong place. Obviously we need food, but somehow when the focus on eating food (or not eating food), just for weight management, to look a certain way, or even some sort of pride thing, alone, I think that's just as dangerous as over-indulging.
The hard thing though, is that culturally speaking, we are infiltrated with images like this....
And this...
And this...
Those images tell us to deprive ourselves, and that a "perfect body" needs to look like this...
Would I love that body? Of course, just look at her.
But do I think it's realistic for me? No.
Nor do I believe that picture should be
the standard for every woman.
What makes me so angry about these pictures is that they NEVER EVER focus on the emotional, mental, and spiritual part of a person. It's all geared toward a look, or a certain number. A number that is probably so outlandish to aspire to in the first place. I happen to believe, though, that the emotional, mental, and spiritual parts of a person are the most important, because THAT is the root of your relationship with food- and so many other things.
The idea of "skinny" being attached to happiness is ludicrous to me. "Skinny" isn't the root of happiness, in itself. Health should be the goal, and that is relative you, to your shape, to your season of life, and to your body. Health is not, and should not, be measured against someone else.
Just like anything else, I think the food issue requires balance. If health is a whole-body experience, which I believe it is, than skinny means nothing if you have the wrong mentality. And likewise, it may feel great to have a comfort meal, but if it's a habit or the way to cope from
a long day all the time, that's also the wrong mentality.
Obviously when you swing to the extremes on the spectrum it can get dangerous. You know why?
Thanks for your patience with us- well mostly me. Jenny was on top of it yesterday, and I had a busier than usual day, so she graciously agreed to wait for me to post. Thanks, Jenny!
If you want to catch up on our most recent posts click here and here.
If you are just joining us and want to know what this series is all about, you can watch our
intro videos here and here.
Here we go again!
As I am writing this, I am looking at the leftover pizza boxes I have on my counter from last night.
Bobby had a super long week, and I was out and about all day yesterday, so it just felt right to order pizza, catch up on our shows that we love, and hang out. To me that's always the perfect kind of evening. Yummy food, a good movie or show, and then some serious dessert. There is something about that combination that is more than just fun for me, it's almost ritualistic- my comfort, my way of unwinding from a long day or week. Honestly, that is the best kind of night for me.
Here's my issue though, I am an over-indulger. I think I just made that word up. I can eat huge portions of my favorite meals, and then I have no problem backing up my huge dinner portion with an unearthly amount of sweets- ice cream is my vice. I always say that my stomach has a separate compartment for dessert, because no matter how much I eat for dinner, I always have room for dessert.
The over-indulging is a hard habit to break, especially when it is attached to comfort, rest, and good feelings. That makes it nearly impossible for me to say no, because it brings me so much pleasure. I don't eat to just fuel myself, I eat because I enjoy food. Really really enjoy food.
Even though I know that over-indulging is a weakness of mine, I know there is another extreme.
It's self-deprivation: Never allowing yourself to enjoy a meal or yummy treat. Counting every single calorie for fear of adding a single ounce to your weight,
micro managing everything that you take in, then punishing yourself for it.
Though I have never struggled with this extreme, I've known those who have, and I know it has just as many roots to it, as over-eating does- it's just manifested differently.
Can I tell you one of my absolute biggest pet peeves? I really don't like when anyone posts on facebook about calories. "I ate this many calories, so I need to do this many hours of exercise," or "I'm going to regret all the calories I took in," or "____ only has ____ calories!"
It bothers me because the focus seems wrong or skewed.
Don't eat "it" if you know you'll feel guilty. Or eat "it" and give
yourself permission to enjoy what you're eating.
Please don't hear me saying that I think counting calories in itself is annoying. It can be a great to tool, to keep you aware of what you're taking in, which is important.
But, awareness and fretting/obsessing over calories is different.
What I am saying, is that kind of verbalization, to me, puts the focus in the wrong place. Obviously we need food, but somehow when the focus on eating food (or not eating food), just for weight management, to look a certain way, or even some sort of pride thing, alone, I think that's just as dangerous as over-indulging.
The hard thing though, is that culturally speaking, we are infiltrated with images like this....
And this...
And this...
Those images tell us to deprive ourselves, and that a "perfect body" needs to look like this...
Would I love that body? Of course, just look at her.
But do I think it's realistic for me? No.
Nor do I believe that picture should be
the standard for every woman.
What makes me so angry about these pictures is that they NEVER EVER focus on the emotional, mental, and spiritual part of a person. It's all geared toward a look, or a certain number. A number that is probably so outlandish to aspire to in the first place. I happen to believe, though, that the emotional, mental, and spiritual parts of a person are the most important, because THAT is the root of your relationship with food- and so many other things.
The idea of "skinny" being attached to happiness is ludicrous to me. "Skinny" isn't the root of happiness, in itself. Health should be the goal, and that is relative you, to your shape, to your season of life, and to your body. Health is not, and should not, be measured against someone else.
Just like anything else, I think the food issue requires balance. If health is a whole-body experience, which I believe it is, than skinny means nothing if you have the wrong mentality. And likewise, it may feel great to have a comfort meal, but if it's a habit or the way to cope from
a long day all the time, that's also the wrong mentality.
Obviously when you swing to the extremes on the spectrum it can get dangerous. You know why?
Because what you eat is a state of mind. Food is attached to emotions and there are lots of intricacies to each extreme. When we shine light on our insides, you learn and discover why you do what you do, and begin to have more balance.
.
Therefore, I would suggest that the goal is to move from the far ends of the spectrum between self-deprivation and over-indulging , to the center, the place where you allow yourself to enjoy the things that you love to eat, but are conscious of what you are taking in, in ways that work for you and make sense for your body and for your life. NOT what anyone else's.
It is absolutely ok, and even lovely, to eat something that you enjoy so much, but pizza and ice cream every night, probably isn't the best idea. Just like it's perfectly ok to be aware and conscious of what you are taking in, but if you're beating yourself up for eating one little thing, then that's just as bad to me, emotionally and mentally, as over-indulging.
"Skinny" isn't the goal. Health is.
If you lose a few pounds because you are healthy- inside and out, that's great. But losing weight for the sake of being skinny is an awful goal, because remember "skinny" does not equal ultimate happiness and contentment. I wish there was more emphasis on nurturing the parts of us that are unseen. Our emotions, our feelings, our motives, our issues, and our strengths. When we start there, and not with a desired number for our weight, I think the food/body image issue, could be more balanced. Honestly, I believe that most anything we struggle with has to be dealt with on the inside first before we can even begin to change on the outside. Food and our relationship with it, is absolutely no exception to that idea.
That image breaks my heart
I believe that girls learn what they do about food and body image from important people in their life. The more positive and healthy perspectives there are surrounding food, the less likely the chance of the above picture becoming a reality. It crucial we discover a good balance in ourselves, so we can model it for others.
This is all coming from someone who would need to continue working on it, herself. Yup, me. I am fully aware of the patterns that I can fall into of unhealthy eating. I go through waves, where I can keep my over-eating under control, then there are waves where I eat what I want, when I want, and don't think twice until I feel so gross and unhealthy, I'm forced to start reevaluating again. But like I said, the focus isn't about the over-eating, it's about the "why." I'm working on that one.
The food relationship is tricky one. The more that we can focus on health in an individual way, the healthier we'll all be.
Let's stop trying to be eating, and not eating, for "skinny," and start trying to be healthy from the inside out. Not the outside in.
Head over and read what Jenny's has to say about a food relationship. I know she has some pretty passionate thoughts on this topic of food.
We wrap up "The Identity Games" tomorrow, so stay tuned for the final posts!
Have a great Saturday!
~Jessica
.
Therefore, I would suggest that the goal is to move from the far ends of the spectrum between self-deprivation and over-indulging , to the center, the place where you allow yourself to enjoy the things that you love to eat, but are conscious of what you are taking in, in ways that work for you and make sense for your body and for your life. NOT what anyone else's.
It is absolutely ok, and even lovely, to eat something that you enjoy so much, but pizza and ice cream every night, probably isn't the best idea. Just like it's perfectly ok to be aware and conscious of what you are taking in, but if you're beating yourself up for eating one little thing, then that's just as bad to me, emotionally and mentally, as over-indulging.
"Skinny" isn't the goal. Health is.
If you lose a few pounds because you are healthy- inside and out, that's great. But losing weight for the sake of being skinny is an awful goal, because remember "skinny" does not equal ultimate happiness and contentment. I wish there was more emphasis on nurturing the parts of us that are unseen. Our emotions, our feelings, our motives, our issues, and our strengths. When we start there, and not with a desired number for our weight, I think the food/body image issue, could be more balanced. Honestly, I believe that most anything we struggle with has to be dealt with on the inside first before we can even begin to change on the outside. Food and our relationship with it, is absolutely no exception to that idea.
I have a 4 year old daughter, and the last thing I want, is for her to have a mentality like this...
That image breaks my heart
I believe that girls learn what they do about food and body image from important people in their life. The more positive and healthy perspectives there are surrounding food, the less likely the chance of the above picture becoming a reality. It crucial we discover a good balance in ourselves, so we can model it for others.
This is all coming from someone who would need to continue working on it, herself. Yup, me. I am fully aware of the patterns that I can fall into of unhealthy eating. I go through waves, where I can keep my over-eating under control, then there are waves where I eat what I want, when I want, and don't think twice until I feel so gross and unhealthy, I'm forced to start reevaluating again. But like I said, the focus isn't about the over-eating, it's about the "why." I'm working on that one.
The food relationship is tricky one. The more that we can focus on health in an individual way, the healthier we'll all be.
Let's stop trying to be eating, and not eating, for "skinny," and start trying to be healthy from the inside out. Not the outside in.
Head over and read what Jenny's has to say about a food relationship. I know she has some pretty passionate thoughts on this topic of food.
We wrap up "The Identity Games" tomorrow, so stay tuned for the final posts!
Have a great Saturday!
~Jessica
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