The last two weeks have been some of the most challenging weeks in parenting that Bobby and I have had. Layla turned a corner and starting exerting more will, pushing the boundaries, and was pretty defiant when she didn't get her way. I think I always knew that a phase like this was bound to happen, but I'm not going lie, I was taken by surprise when her new found attitude flew in like a tornado.
Whether it was an argument about listening, throwing things at me in the car, kicking me while I buckled her in her seat, saying awful and hurtful words out of anger, or simple saying "no" in a very matter of fact way, our Layla was clearly communicating that she wants to be boss.
Bobby and I chalked it up to lots of factors, but the bottom line was that we needed to get our act together as parents. We had spent the first 4 years of her life providing shelter, safety, food, warmth, and love, which is exactly what kids need in the first few years, but she needs more now. We entered the phase of parenting where she not only needs the basics, she needs guidance and directions. She needs to learn how to be a healthy, functioning human. You know what that means though, it means that Bobby and I can no longer parent her the way we were so accustomed to. We needed to step up our game, and start leading by example, getting creative with consequences because she's smart enough to understand some logic now, and follow through- oh, the following through.
I am convinced that parenting ends up being so much more about the parents growing up, than the kids. This whole experience of shifting our parenting the last few weeks, has forced ME to change first. I have to pave the way for my kids, I have to lead by example, I have to model to Layla- and Cullen, how to treat people, behave, and how to be healthy. Well, you can't teach those things well, if you haven't learned them yourself, so it's safe to say that I have learned a lot these last few weeks.
Parenting is tough, it's very personal, and it's relative to your children, and the relationship you have with them and their needs. But, as personal of an experience as parenting is, it's something I don't want to do alone. I'm talking about outside of Bobby and I. We need help from others who have done this before. We need support from those who know and love our kids. We need help with creative and logical consequences when we are in the heat of anger. Parenting is almost nearly impossible when you do it on your own. In this crazy time with Layla, I've been grateful for the help I've received from family and friends, and the support that Bobby has given me since he knows that I'm dealing with these issues all day. He's swooped in many times when he's gotten home, and taken the reigns for me, and backed me up. He's a keeper.
I have posted about how deeply moved I am by creation and the beauty in this world. Refer to my
"We Live in a Beautiful World" post to get the full picture. I have found, over the past year that when I've felt stressed, burnt out, frustrated, or just need some quiet time with my thoughts, that taking time to look at my gorgeous surroundings, and capture the best I can, what I'm seeing, puts things in perspective for me. I can hardly put into words how much peace and clarity I feel after a time out- outside. Well, between the craziness we've had with Layla, the pace of life speeding up a bit with fall activities starting, the hope of things to come coupled with the fear of disappointment (I'll explain more in another post), AND the fact that beautiful fall is here, I thought it was time for a walk and mini photoshoot nearby our house.
So, I wanted to share with you the pictures that I took this last week, that continue to hold me together, remind that there is beauty all around me no matter what's swirling inside me, and that even when there are twists, turns, and uncertainties in life, that there is consistency, and there is also a rhythm to life- seasons being proof of that. I need reminders like that more often than not, and that's why these are some of my new favorite pictures.
Enjoy, and be encouraged through these pictures that whether you're struggling with parenting, fear, doubt, confusion, and uncertainty, that you are less alone than you think.
Pause. Take a deep breath-literally. Look-really look. And listen.
You'll hear more in the silence, than you could ever hear with noise.
Those are four things that are wildly important with parenting and everything else in life, and I just happened to learn them from taking a few steps outside.
Whether it was an argument about listening, throwing things at me in the car, kicking me while I buckled her in her seat, saying awful and hurtful words out of anger, or simple saying "no" in a very matter of fact way, our Layla was clearly communicating that she wants to be boss.
Bobby and I chalked it up to lots of factors, but the bottom line was that we needed to get our act together as parents. We had spent the first 4 years of her life providing shelter, safety, food, warmth, and love, which is exactly what kids need in the first few years, but she needs more now. We entered the phase of parenting where she not only needs the basics, she needs guidance and directions. She needs to learn how to be a healthy, functioning human. You know what that means though, it means that Bobby and I can no longer parent her the way we were so accustomed to. We needed to step up our game, and start leading by example, getting creative with consequences because she's smart enough to understand some logic now, and follow through- oh, the following through.
I am convinced that parenting ends up being so much more about the parents growing up, than the kids. This whole experience of shifting our parenting the last few weeks, has forced ME to change first. I have to pave the way for my kids, I have to lead by example, I have to model to Layla- and Cullen, how to treat people, behave, and how to be healthy. Well, you can't teach those things well, if you haven't learned them yourself, so it's safe to say that I have learned a lot these last few weeks.
Parenting is tough, it's very personal, and it's relative to your children, and the relationship you have with them and their needs. But, as personal of an experience as parenting is, it's something I don't want to do alone. I'm talking about outside of Bobby and I. We need help from others who have done this before. We need support from those who know and love our kids. We need help with creative and logical consequences when we are in the heat of anger. Parenting is almost nearly impossible when you do it on your own. In this crazy time with Layla, I've been grateful for the help I've received from family and friends, and the support that Bobby has given me since he knows that I'm dealing with these issues all day. He's swooped in many times when he's gotten home, and taken the reigns for me, and backed me up. He's a keeper.
I have posted about how deeply moved I am by creation and the beauty in this world. Refer to my
"We Live in a Beautiful World" post to get the full picture. I have found, over the past year that when I've felt stressed, burnt out, frustrated, or just need some quiet time with my thoughts, that taking time to look at my gorgeous surroundings, and capture the best I can, what I'm seeing, puts things in perspective for me. I can hardly put into words how much peace and clarity I feel after a time out- outside. Well, between the craziness we've had with Layla, the pace of life speeding up a bit with fall activities starting, the hope of things to come coupled with the fear of disappointment (I'll explain more in another post), AND the fact that beautiful fall is here, I thought it was time for a walk and mini photoshoot nearby our house.
So, I wanted to share with you the pictures that I took this last week, that continue to hold me together, remind that there is beauty all around me no matter what's swirling inside me, and that even when there are twists, turns, and uncertainties in life, that there is consistency, and there is also a rhythm to life- seasons being proof of that. I need reminders like that more often than not, and that's why these are some of my new favorite pictures.
Enjoy, and be encouraged through these pictures that whether you're struggling with parenting, fear, doubt, confusion, and uncertainty, that you are less alone than you think.
Pause. Take a deep breath-literally. Look-really look. And listen.
You'll hear more in the silence, than you could ever hear with noise.
Those are four things that are wildly important with parenting and everything else in life, and I just happened to learn them from taking a few steps outside.
And my two greatest reminders
to pause, breathe, look, and listen are...
Cullen
And Layla
Welcome to October!
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